Teachers: Be silent in these 3 situations

Photo by Silvestre Leon on Unsplash

Howdy, highly-motivated snackers! This is one of the hardest lessons I'm learning as a teacher--creative non-engagement.

Here's why: on one hand, we want to have a classroom where our students feel heard and have a degree of agency over their own learning. On the other....they have still-developing brains that are often reeling from trauma felt on many levels. These factors converge in the classroom and can cause students to make choices that can be disruptive for reasons that we will often be unable to understand. In many of those moments, we learn to react verbally. Here are three situations in which a verbal response could boomerang.

When you're physically and/or emotionally tired.

I can appreciate that this can feel like the steady state for some of us! We are about a month from the end of the school year in our district. I would venture a guess that there is a signficant number of teachers feeling this way right now, and it's totally understandable. The kids know we're near the end as well, of course. Families are talking about vacations and other fun things they'll be doing once school ends, etc.

Needless to say, there will be less fuel in our patience tanks. In these moments, it's important to remember that we're driving the bus. The tone in our classroom isn't being set by the calendar (which is why focusing on the present moment is so important--END YOUR COUNTDOWN!)...we still get to decide. This is why we spend so much time building powerful routines early in the year. Remember that our classroom space is a reflection of our (the lone mature brain!) level of emotional regulation, which in large part drives our reactions to all the little stressors. In general, if we speak quietly, so will they. If we let certain words and behaviors go without comment, and so on. Children learn so much from the way we behave. Does that mean that it's always deep breathing and and Zen in our spaces? Of course not. We all lose our chill from time to time. It's just really important that we care for ourselves so that we're still able to bring our best to our students as often as possible.

When you don't know all the details.

Have you ever had a student arrive late for class, and you're ready to remind them of the fact? Some students are (actually!) upset when they're late to class. And, when teachers (and classmates) start hurling accusations and unnecessary reminders, it can be challenging to come in and be ready to focus on learning. The reality is: we have no idea what potentially life-altering reasons that child has for being late. Our well-placed creative silence can work wonders here. Even the kids who are seemingly habitually tardy and you are observing them "just messing around in the halls" (taking socialization time that their brains need and that their worlds afford them less and less often, and/or dealing with time blindness that can accompany ADHD and autism) can benefit from a measure of verbal space. In addition to verbal silence, punitive silence also works well in these cases. Try a short conversation before jumping right to the threat of or implementation of consequences. Earlier this year, I had a student who arrived after the start time of class more than once without a pass. Initially, I began with, "Do you have a pass?" which was met with considerable defensiveness. It wasn't the way I wanted class to begin for that student. I approached them the following morning and gently reminded them why I hoped they would join us on time. They haven't been late since.

I'm working on my "Hey! I'm glad you're here. Come on in. We just started working on..." game. So far, it's working well!

When a single student needs your immediate attention.

I teach Middle School Music as part of my day gig. My Chorus was onstage at District Assessments earlier this Spring. We had finished our onstage performance and the kids were standing on the risers, listening to the comments of a clinician. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that one boy seemed agitated. Then, I noticed him sitting down. I walked over to find out what's going on. One of his shoes is too tight, I discovered, and he hasn't yet learned to tie his shoes. I sensed from his tone that this was an important matter that needed to be dealt with right then, with the judges and audience watching. So, I knelt down, gently loosened the shoe, re-tied it, and asked if that felt ok. He nodded, and our morning continued.

Sometimes, we say things from the front of the classroom/lunch line that dismisses the needs of our students for the sake of expediency. In doing that, however, we thwart the aims of our SEL lessons by telling children NOT to feel what they're actually feeling in the moment.

"You're okay!"

"You get what you get and you don't get upset."

"We're not (insert feeling) right now."

These well-intentioned time savers actually make more work for us down the line because they make us deal with behaviors that are bigger than they would have been if we had let the students express their feelings back when they were smaller. I know that this is so much easier said than done with strict class time and lunch schedules. If we're able to, perhaps, place ourselves in the middle of the line, or move around the classroom space, we can more easily address issues quickly and in a way that allows you to honor childrens' feelings without it taking up all of your time.

If these approaches seem impossible, I try to remember that adults sometimes behave rudely or disrespectfully. So, to expect that small children or even older children never will seems unreasonable. Remember that I'm not suggesting that we condone the behaviors or ignore school rules. I'm simply saying that they're going to happen. We should not be shocked by them, in fact, our response to them is most important. If we always fly off when a child acts normally, we can expect them to not feel safe in the classroom, resulting in more challenge rather than less.

It's starting to work for me, though! And, I hope it is, or will, for you as well!

TeachersSnacks subscribers have been receiving free articles every week by email with additional tips and tricks to help them navigate the end of the school year. Ready to join up absolutely free? Please complete this form.

Wishing you courageous and

Happy snacking,

Chef Charles

Head chef

www.teacherssnacks.com